Ed Du Bois, IslandHome, Records: Songs/Lyrics/Stories

I watched a nightly newscast that did a piece on a young virtuosa, Ruby Jane. She played ten musical instruments like she had invented them. I loved her talent and I really loved her name. I could feel a song coming on but I didn't know where it was going. As it developed it took a totally different course, not in anyway reflective of that vibrant young lady who made those instruments come alive that night. This song is about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD). Sorry, Ruby Jane whoever you are.

Unfortunately the unnamed protagonist in this song could have been helped. He didn't know what was wrong and had no friends or family to recognize the PTSD symptoms. Each year thousands of soldiers return from war suffering from this battle scourge. It is a scary, debilitating disorder that is not well acknowledged or treated, and the public has very little sympathy for it. After all there's no wound, no bandages, nothing broken, right? Wrong! Something is broken but you can't see it, the mind. The mind and body go into an altered state because of exposure to trauma. The trauma can be physical, mental or emotional. It all does the same thing it stimulates the autonomic nervous system releasing the fight or flight syndrome in a near perpetual state. The slightest noise, movement, change of surrounding, or change of people can be debilitating. Your hands and feet tremor like they don't belong to you. Your heart races, your body sweats and your mind spins trying to grasp something familiar. You usually can't sleep because you are reliving the episode or episodes that caused the disorder. It seems like a video loop is playing over and over in your mind. You keep trying to fix it so it didn't happen but it never does any good.

I speak from experience because I've had it. Not caused by anything as frightening as combat but bad enough to throw me into it for about a year and that was enough for me. I have a new respect for anyone suffering from the disorder! On Valentine's Day, February 14, 2004 my son and I were flying in my small two seater float plane. We crashed in South Biscayne Bay and the plane sank upside down with us locked in with our lap belts and shoulder harnesses. Eddie quickly released his lap belt and swam to the surface. I tried to do the same thing but mine was broken and would not release. For the next four minutes I fought upside down under water to free myself. Finally just before inhaling that life ending salt water I managed to slip out swam to the surface and was grabbed by Eddie. Recovering from the physical damage, lacerations to my ankles, eight inch gash to my head, subdural hemotoma, and concussion, was nothing compared to what set in two weeks after the accident, PTSD! My doctors prescribed medication and assured me that time was the best cure, but cautioned that sometimes it never goes away. What a grim fate. The uninformed have questions and more questions, "What is wrong", "You look so good, what does it feel like", "Have you taken your medication", "Have you been exercising". Most don't believe that you have anything wrong. You must hang on for a wild ride of impaired motor skills, depression, withdrawal, confusion, alienation, fright and suicide. Somehow slowly your mind usually heals and this scourge wanes.

If you're a returning GI with PTSD or the symptoms get medical help and hang in there. If you know someone with PTSD lend a sympathetic hand and help him ride out this storm because it is very, very real!

Somehow singing of this soldier's desperate plight, although very sad, makes me feel better. Hopefully someone will hear this song and have a better appreciation for this disorder.

Chords G-A7-C-D7 Refrain G-A7-G

1
Ruby Jane,
Carried you picture everywhere,
Softly said my nightly prayers,
With your name,
Ruby Jane... Uh huh Ruby Jane.

2
Went to war,
Been around this world three times,
Did some things can't get off my mind,
Anymore in that war, oh no, no more war.

3
Finally made it home,
Nothing here remained the same,
Buildings gone, streets with different names,
I don't know it ain't my home oh no this ain't home.

4
Your house is still there,
Though in total disrepair,
No one here recalls your face or you name,
Ruby Jane oh no no Ruby Jane.

5
Searched couldn't find a trace,
I've seen enough of this place,
Gonna take your pictures and memories with me,
Back to sea where we'll remain...eternally,
We'll be the same...Ruby Jane.

Hum, fade